Lawyer Rajan Chettiar offers advice to estranged couples filing for divorce.

When a marriage breaks down, the estranged husband and wife may find it difficult to acknowledge this fact. Questions such as Why did this happen to me? How am I going to live the rest of my life? What is going to happen to our children? Will I have enough money for the future? Often arise. An initial visit to a lawyer can leave the estranged parties undecided as to what course of action they should adopt. They are often in emotional turmoil, filled with hurt, loss, a sense of betrayal, frustration, anger and confusion.

There are numerous reasons why a marriage fails. The most common is a lack of communication. This can slowly break people apart over a period of time. “I acknowledge that this is a very sad event in my client’s life. I always tell them that life is short. You have two choices: continue being in the emotional doldrums, or move on with your life. Once a marriage becomes empty and reconciliation has failed, it is time to say goodbye,” says Rajan – also a counsellor.

Rajan suggests a client may wish to consider the following advice he also used during his own divorce proceedings:
• There is great power in receiving emotional support. Talk about what you are experiencing with your family members and close friends.
• Consult a marriage counsellor. There is no stigma in seeing a counsellor. These sessions can be the first beneficial and effective step in the journey of recovery for estranged spouses.
• Once you have exhausted the possibility of reconciliation, take proactive steps to work towards solutions to problems. Expedient resolution helps spouses pick up the pieces and move on in their lives.
• Focus out. Think about others who are affected by the break­down of the marriage – usually the children of the marriage.
• Take a break from routine. Spend time alone to acknowledge your underlying emotions. Go through the grieving process. Set yourself a timeline for this process to end.
• Once this process is over, ask yourself what you want to do next that will help you to move forward in your life.

According to Rajan, a divorce lawyer is not only someone who assists the client get a divorce and resolve their ancillary matters, but a support system to the client. They are often the one person who is with them through every step of the most crucial period in their lives. For this reason, Rajan makes himself available to his divorce clients 24 hours each day, seven days a week.
The emotional roller coaster ride of divorce can continue past the divorce proceedings – but time does heal.

Let us walk with you through your journey today. We have helped many of our clients, both Singaporeans and others, navigate through the legal proceedings/issues and to move forward positively with their lives.

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